Transforming Anxiety, Fear, Anger and Self-doubt into Decisive, Fulfilling Action, Part One


Everyone, myself included, sometimes struggles with anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, and the resulting discouragement and indecision.

We all get ‘stuck’.

Todays post is the first in a series that will provide some actionable steps for transforming anxiety, fear, anger and self-doubt into decisive, mutually fulfilling action.

Feeling ‘challenged’ is an inevitable part of life.

Often we choose to judge a particular situation as ‘difficult’ or ‘challenging’.

This then tends to ‘trigger’ a slew of negative self-judgments about how we are just somehow not enough to handle the situation at hand.

Frankly, nothing could be further from the truth.

As M. K. Gandhi once said, “Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.”

I invite you to take a moment to reflect on this powerfully inspiring quote.

What typically happens when we allow ourselves to be triggered by circumstances is we try and escape our pain.

This often manifests in one of three ways:

  1. We bring our attention to the past to try and find reasons for why things are the way they are
  2. We project our consciousness into a more desirable imagined future with the issue(s) somehow almost ‘magically’ resolved (sometimes referred to as “day dreaming”.)
  3. We distract ourselves with excessive focus on work, becoming overly engrossed in a ‘hobby’, junk food, some form of entertainment or, worse yet, chemically alter our state of being with anti-anxiety medications, alcohol and/or ‘recreational’ drugs

I will now talk about each of the three points mentioned above.

Retreating to the Past

My Brothers and Sisters, the past is gone forever.

We certainly can learn from past actions and resulting outcomes.

However, spending time thinking about the past before we have adequately processed any feelings that have been triggered by current circumstances can take us to the ‘land of regret, blame and resentment’.

Once we have allowed our consciousness to inhabit the ‘land of regret, blame and resentment’ we can become even more discouraged.

Negative self-judgments can easily sneak in, thereby compounding the emotional struggles that we are experiencing.

Things can get ugly quickly.


Projecting our consciousness into a more desirable imagined future, “Day Dreaming”

When we are experiencing ‘difficult’ emotions, projecting our consciousness into a more pleasant imagined future (sometimes referred to as ‘day dreaming’), is simply another way to avoid being with what is.

The future is never coming.  The present is all that we really have.

Be here now.

Solutions to our struggles are here now to be discovered in the present.

Distracting ourselves with excessive work, buying things we don’t need and so on

Distracting ourselves with excessive work, buying things we don’t need, becoming overly engrossed in a hobby, sensual pleasures or chemically altering our state of being to avoid dealing with what is can easily become a habit that only slows our growth and compounds our problems.

When we are experiencing anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, discouragement and so on the best thing we can do is simply be present with what is.

There is simply no going ‘around’ difficult emotions.

We need to fully experience them, process them, and use their power to drive more adaptive, fulfilling behavior.

Now a confession.

I have done all of the above, except for taking prescribed anti-anxiety medications to avoid dealing with what is.

I fully support you wherever you’re at.

I am coming from a place of compassionate understanding, not judgment.

My view:

Regret has no place in my life.

I try to process my feelings fully so that I can learn from the past.

I then try to move on with my life making amends with others when called for.

Form my perspective, repressed negative emotions prevent us form really seeing the truth of our existence.

Repressed negative emotions only serve to drive more maladaptive behavior that leads to more discontented living.

I invite you to try fully processing your feelings, learn from your ‘missteps’, make amends when needed, and move on.

A Better Way Forward

Three Keys to Transforming Anxiety, Fear, Anger and Self-doubt into Decisive, Mutually Fulfilling Action

  • Become and stay fully present with what is
  • Give yourself full permission to fully experience your feelings
  • Have faith and ask for support

Become and stay fully present with what is

This is not as easy as it may seem.

Once you become aware that circumstances have ‘triggered’ feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, discouragement and so on, stop, and stay present with your feelings.

When it comes to feelings there is no right or wrong.

Feelings simply are.

Give yourself full permission to fully experience your feelings

I encourage you to ‘ham it up’.

If you’re feeling sad, have a good cry.

If you are feeling angry, punch your pillow, and (if the circumstances allow) yell at the top of your voice.

If you are feeling discouraged, really get in touch with how awful this feels.

If you have ever river rafted, you know that once you are in the rapids you simply must go through them.

Emotions are powerful.

You can learn to harness their power for your own well-being and the well-being of those around you.

The choice is always yours to make.

The deeper you can go with your feelings the more completely you can process them.

The energy you free up in your consciousness will help to inspire and motivate your quest for creative adaptive solutions to the circumstances that ‘triggered’ your feelings to begin with!

To remain in conscious choice we must teach ourselves to be very slow to judge ourselves and others.

We must learn to be ‘equal minded’.

One important aspect of being ‘equal minded’ simply means that we have developed the capacity to accept what is without any judgment.

All humans have this capacity.  It is up to us to cultivate it.

Have faith and ask for support

None of us are really alone.

Isolation is a choice.

If you are struggling with something, reach out to friends, family, or close colleagues for the help that you need and deserve.

If you would like professional support I am an email away if you need me.

I have blogged on this topic before, in case you’re new to my blog or would just like more on this topic here’s the link:

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful.

I invite you to support our community by posting a comment or question on my blog.

I am here if you need me.

See you next week.

Live, connect, love and prosper

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
May 7, 2014 @ 12:27 am

Brilliant Ron

Staying in the moment and being with my emotions is something I have struggled with my whole life. I am still not great at it but I am better than I was.

Love & Courage

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