To Tell the Truth


A few weeks ago, I was perusing the posts on my FaceBook News Feed page when I came across a posting by my good friend, Laura Fenamore, who I would best describe as a ‘Body Image Coach’.

Laura helps women to release weight for good.

She ‘walks the talk’ herself and has transformed her own body to reveal the vibrant, beautiful woman she has always been at her core.

Most importantly (from my perspective) Laura helps women believe in themselves, love themselves for who they are, and directly and compassionately addresses the ‘hard truths’ that need to be talked about in the areas of self-esteem, body image, and being true to oneself.

She is the real deal!

So when Laura posted: “Commit to always telling the truth”, it had the power to really penetrate my consciousness.

Thank YOU, Laura!

What struck me was that when it comes to areas of our lives where we feel less confident we often fail to fully acknowledge the truth that is literally staring us in the face.

When we fail to be totally honest with ourselves, we limit our potential and possibilities for the future.

Carl Young put it succinctly:

‘Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will continue to rule your life and you will call it fate.’

‘Hiding’ from a painful personal truth does not lessen its effect on our lives.

The simple ‘truth’:

The ‘difficult things’ about our selves that we refuse to acknowledge and deal with have a profound impact on the quality of our lives precisely because we have buried them and have developed the habit of ignoring their influence.

It is equally important to note that failing to fully acknowledge our strengths reduces our access to these precious resources, especially in times of stress, when we need them the most.

Empowered, self-directed living requires us to see and accept all aspects of ourselves.  The sooner we surrender to this process, the sooner we will attain the crown jewel of abiding, unflappable self-confidence.

When it comes to attracting true love, self-confidence, when combined with a good dose of humility is the honey that attracts the bees! 

No man you are truly worthy of wants to be with a woman who does not accept and love themselves as they are.

So far, so good?

From my worldview, facing a difficult truth about our selves is generally a process and not an event.  Personal realizations of this type generally take some time to ‘sink in’.

This is because these types of inner shifts in perspective require a substantial amount of ‘mental reorganization’.  Change a basic assumption, and everything related to that change has to follow suit.

The eminent psychologist Abraham Maslow was one of the first western psychologists to point out man’s need for ‘inner consistency’. 

Maslow coined the term ‘cognitive dissonance’ to describe the inner turmoil created by conflicting beliefs, values, goals, etc.

He further pointed out that man naturally strives to attain at least a basic level of inner consistency, the absence of which causes stress and dysfunctional behavior.

Consistency and balance are the hallmarks of a healthy, well-adjusted mind.

Are you ready to ‘face yourself’ more fully?

If not now, when?

I invite you to try out the following exercise.

Seven Days to a Deeper Level of Self-Acceptance:

Follow these steps:

You may want to jot down the questions posed in the exercise for reference.

  1. Get up from your computer or put your mobile device down and go look in the mirror.
  2. Smile.
  3. Close your eyes and take a few slow deep breaths in through your nose and relax.
  4. Open your eyes.
  5. Bring your attention to your ‘heart cave’. (It is located right in the middle of your sternum).
  6. Now look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “What have I been avoiding that if I dealt with, would help me to attract that quality, loving man that I so deeply want and deserve?”
  7. Give yourself permission to hear the answer.
  8. Write down the first thought or idea that comes to you.
  9. Journal on this topic for the next seven days.
  10. For the next seven evenings before you go to sleep, ask the spiritual world to support you in your efforts to face and resolve this issue.  You might try asking, “What strengths do I already possess that will help me to face and overcome this challenge”.

Many of my Clients have used this exercise to face and effectively deal with challenges they had been avoiding for a good part of their lives.

As Tracy Chapman says, “All that you need is in your soul”.

You are wise beyond belief.  Just ask and you will receive.


Keys to your success:

  • Patience.  It took you your entire life to become the person you are today. Give yourself permission to stumble as you face and address what your heart has revealed to you.
  • Persistence.  If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again.  It is in getting into uncomfortable, imperfect action that will bring progress and ultimately, success.  New results require new thinking and behavior. These take time to develop and become fully integrated into your life.
  • Accountability.  Ask a friend, family member, your Pastor, or trusted colleague to hold you accountable. You may want to arrange a weekly ‘check in’ call.
  • Support.  Enlist the support of the spiritual world and a your ‘accountability’ partner.
  • Celebrate all of your efforts, regardless of the outcome!

Let me know how this exercise worked for you by posting a comment on my

blog or by emailing me at

One more thing:

I began this post by mentioning my good friend and Body Image Coach, Laura Fenamore.

If you are struggling with excessive weight or a less than inspiring physical image of yourself, I invite you to check out her offerings.

Link to Laura’s site:

See you next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

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