The Keys to YOUR Lover’s Heart, Part One


We all need the empathetic support that deep soul-to-soul connection brings.

Even people who are deeply committed to each other experience times when it just seems to be more difficult to connect with their lover.

Today’s post will discuss one powerful practice for opening your and your lover’s hearts to progressively deeper levels of genuine, soul-to-soul connection.

We all need to be seen and accepted for the people that we are.

The opportunities for deep levels of soul connection are present whenever two people fully show up –bring all of their ‘inner friends’ along -the good, the bad, and the ugly – to play.

If you want to loved for the person that you are then you must be willing to allow your love to see ‘the successful, beaming you’ and ‘the failing, feeling scared you’.

To fully show up requires courage, real courage.

In order to fully show up, you must be willing to be vulnerable.

You must be willing to humble yourself to yourself, to surrender.

Love is a river that flows downstream.

Vulnerability activates the pathway to empathetic connection and compassion.

When one human being bears their soul to another it invites empathic connection.

That is simply how we humans are wired.

We are wired to connect with the truth that lives in all of us.

The truth is who we are in our entirety, not just the part of ourselves that we are ‘ok’ with others seeing.

When we allow others to see us as we ‘are’, when we stop projecting some contrived image of ourselves, we invite them to connect with their genuine selves and an authentic soul-to-soul connection becomes possible.

Practice Blessed Vulnerability

From one perspective we spend far too much time ‘faking it’.

You know-pretending that we are ‘ok’, when inwardly we are feeling unsure, ‘a little shaky’ and maybe even a little afraid.

While no one aspires to stumble around like Inspector Jacques Clouseau, we don’t always really know how to handle things.

If you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself, why not just ‘spill the beans’ and say so! 

This can be especially hard for us guys.

Women sometimes struggle with it as well, especially if there is any fear that they will be rejected or abandoned if they truly express their needs and fears.

If you are feeling sad, afraid, troubled, discouraged, or inadequate – just spill the beans and say so!

Guys- please get this!

You don’t have to always be ‘ok’, ‘in control’ and ‘have things handled’.

You don’t have to always know the answer.  You don’t always have to fix things.

Expressing vulnerability gives your partner the opportunity to support you- all of you.

We all need to give and receive empathy.

Give your partner the gift of allowing them to fully support you.

Support offered and genuinely received builds deep emotional bonds that are very, very durable.

It also builds a deep sense of safety, the foundational cornerstone of trust.

Vulnerability and safety

When you dig deep and find the courage to ‘just spill the beans’ and authentically share what you are really feeling and experiencing it gives your partner the opportunity to fully support you and tacitly invites them to be open with you.

Openness invites openness; deception- at any level- invites deception.

It’s been joking said, “Just tell the truth, they know what’s going on anyway and if they don’t know now, they will surely find out”.

I invite you to stop playing the game of ‘hide and seek’ with you partner and just develop the habit of fully showing up.

Develop the habit of practicing being Vulnerable and a deeper level of soul connection will open up for you in all of you important relationships.

Do the work; get the results.

It’s really that simple.

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful.

I am here if you need me.

I invite you to support our community by posting a comment or question on my blog. I am here if you need me.

See you next week.

Live, connect, love and prosper


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Comment by stephen light
July 15, 2014 @ 10:11 am

Very Powerful Ron

This part of your post resonated with me – thank you.

You don’t have to always be ‘ok’, ‘in control’ and ‘have things handled’.

You don’t have to always know the answer. You don’t always have to fix things.

Expressing vulnerability gives your partner the opportunity to support you- all of you.

We all need to give and receive empathy.

Give your partner the gift of allowing them to fully support you.

Love & Courage

Comment by Ron
July 22, 2014 @ 12:45 pm

Dear Stephen,
Thanks for your comment. I am able to write so effectively about being vulnerable partly because I struggle with this as well. Us men have been taught that we must alwaysbe in control, be ‘ok’ and have the answers. There are centuries of strong cultural conditioning behind how we show up in relationships. I am learning that when I can get fully in touch with the scared, worried, anxious … me and then authentically acknowledge that this is how I am feeling in the moment, that I both get the opportunity to fully face myself while giving my beloved wife the opportunity to take a step closer to me. This process is allowing me to gradually grow into the deeply loving man that I am in my heart. This, for me, is one of the biggest blessings of committed partnership. To Love and Courage, My Brother, Warmly, Ron Capocelli

Comment by Bill
July 15, 2014 @ 8:23 pm

Thank you Ron—For a long time i ran from vulnerability and still do.
More and more i am remembering to bring myself present there by
tuning to that sensitivity—-Take care—Bill

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