The Keys to the Kingdom of Mutually Empowering, Committed Love


Whether you’re dating or in a committed relationship trying to make the best of things, showing up fully as the person you are is what sets the stage for mutually empowering and fulfilling relationships.

As many of you know I am happily married.

My wife and I have built an exceptionally strong alliance that is based on mutual respect, deep commitment to each other’s fulfillment, and a shared path of service to our fellow man.

When I reflect on the pillars of our conscious, strong, loving, mutually empowering relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is authenticity.


Coaches talk a lot about the importance of being authentic.

For the purpose of our discussion, I am defining authenticity from an existential point of view as follows:

Authenticity is the degree to which each of us is able to be true to our personality, character, and spirit despite external pressures to do otherwise.

In order to be fully authentic you must be willing to:

  • Be fully seen for all that you are including all of your perceived virtues and faults, strengths and weaknesses, and so on.
  • Fully speak your truth
  • Own and take full responsibility for your feelings
  • Own and take full responsibility for your speech and actions
  • Accept full responsibility for your own happiness
  • Always celebrate your striving to be all you are meant to be

These, my friends, are the keys to the kingdom of conscious, mutually empowering, committed relationships.

Being willing to be fully seen for all that you are

This one is tougher than it might first appear.

In order to be fully seen for all that we are, we must first stop hiding from our self-perceived faults and short comings.

Truth be known: Everyone hides out sometimes.


From my world-view, we are all “a work in progress”.

Each and every one of us brings a unique blend of virtues and faults, talents and deficiencies, areas of knowledge and areas of ignorance, areas where we excel and areas where we are barely competent, and so on.

In order to be fully authentic, we must first fully accept ourselves as we are.

One realization really that has helped me to be more fully willing to be seen for who I am was that: I am exactly who and where I am supposed to be at this point in time.

For more support on this topic, I direct readers to an earlier post called Compassionate Biography. The link is to this post is below:

For those of you who are seeking true, lasting love, if you want to attract that awesome person into your life that truly loves you for who you are then work at being fully seen for all that you are.

Always remember that it is the striving that matters. 

Fully speak Your truth

Fully speaking your truth means to be willing to fully own and express your needs, desires, aspirations, hopes, dreams, fears, feelings, regrets, and so on.

This takes courage; the courage to be vulnerable, the courage to say you’re sorry, the courage to admit that you were wrong, the courage to stand up for what you know in your heart is right – regardless of what others might think or how they might “judge you”.

We all can access the courage to fully speak our truth.

Open your mouth and allow the words to come out and you will find the courage to continue!  I promise!

Own and take full responsibility for your feelings

I cannot emphasize this point enough.

If you are seeking true, committed love then work hard to fully own and share your feelings with folks you date.

If this has not been how you have shown up, there is no time like the present to start!

He/she can only love you fully for who you are if they fully know you.

True love is not a game of “hide and seek”. Rather, it is a dance between two people who fully show up as themselves.

If you are in a committed relationship and are trying to bring the most to it and get the most out of it then fully owning and expressing your feelings will help you and your partner to build the strong emotional ties that are required to stand up to the challenges that life inevitably brings.

Trust me you can’t hide your feelings- they always find a way to get expressed.

Feelings either are fully acknowledged and appropriately expressed- keeping things “clean”– or they “leak out” in often unexpected and frequently injurious ways.

You get to choose!

Own and take full responsibility for your speech and actions

The “blame game” never works out well for anyone.

A big part of being fully authentic is to fully own and take full responsibility for your speech and actions.

If you are dating, I recommend getting this pattern established now.

If you are in a committed relationship, and you haven’t always taken responsibility for your speech and actions, it is not too late to make amends and start doing so.

The love you save may be your own!

Accept full responsibility for your own happiness

This, my friends, is one of the most important keys to the kingdom of conscious, mutually empowering, committed relationships.

The truth is no one can make you happy.

It is also not your responsibility to make your partner happy.

It is your responsibility to openly express your needs, desires, goals, and aspirations.

It is also your responsibility to express your fears, doubts, reservations, and concerns.

Both sides of your life are equally important.

The same is true for your partner.

Intentions trump expectations

I encourage you to develop the habit of clearly expressing your needs, desires and goals.

It is never too late to develop this habit!

YOUR partner cannot read your mind.

If you need your partner’s support, ask for it!

For example, if you would like to take an evening walk with your partner express your desire to your partner and see how you can work together to make that happen.

Why leave their support up to chance?

Always celebrate your striving to be all you are meant to be

Self-empowered living simply requires us to celebrate all of our efforts toward fulfillment and love.

The Art of Love is largely the art of persistence.

Staying the course in a committed relationship requires you to “re-energize” yourself by staying in touch with the positive forces that drive you to be all that you are in your soul.

I invite you to make the time daily to celebrate your successes.

Start a success journal!

I also invite you to make the time daily to celebrate your miss-steps and “perceived failures” as this is where you will find the courage, faith, and hope to keep moving forward.

It also a great tool for really learning the lessons of life!

One reason why we repeat the same mistakes over and over is that we don’t allow ourselves the time and space to reflect on “our miss-steps” from a perspective of: “what can I learn from this”, and “How do I want to show up differently in the future so I get my needs met?”

This is why I recommend including your “miss-steps” in your success journal!

Winston Churchill once said:

“If you find yourself walking in hell, keep walking”.

Be all you can be.

Fully show up, speak YOUR Truth, live a fully empowered life!

This week I have literally saved the best for last:

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce the men who follow this post to one of my coaching colleagues, Brad Britton.

Brad Britton is a champion for helping men get the primary relationship they’ve always wanted.

Brad works with men in committed romantic partnerships who are stymied by how to make their relationship really hum.

I invite you to check out Brad’s offerings at:

You’ll be glad that you did!

Why am I bothering to introduce you to Brad Britton?

My stated mission is to promote conscious, loving mutually empowering relationships.

Brad is the real deal and I know that some one reading this blog could benefit from his offerings.

On two occasions Brad was a featured guest on my radio show, Getting Relationships Right.  The show can be downloaded at:

I invite you to download the shows that posted on Monday, June 3, 2013 and Monday June 10, 2013. 

Brad and I had dynamic dialogues that provided many tips for building mutually empowering, committed relationships.

Live, Connect, Love and Prosper

See YOU next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
June 27, 2013 @ 7:31 am

Hey Ron

I am reminded time and time again that it is always an inner journey.

Love & Courage

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