The Healing Power of Humor

WELCOME!

Can humor actually serve as a tool to help move a couple in a ‘heated discussion’ closer together?

If you really work at being fully present with and supportive of your partner when times are good, then when the proverbial you know what hits the fan you can usually find common ground, move closer together and work things out.

Empirical research also clearly shows that couples who had strong emotional connections were able to inject humor, playfulness, and affection, into their disputes as a means of disarming the situation 1.

This comes as no surprise to me.

Perhaps a real life experience will help drive home this point.

Although my first wife and I did not stay together, I remember just how playful we could be when we would disagree.

I remember one time in particular when she was mad as hell with me about something I had done with one of her kids.

During the peak of our argument I was somehow inspired to look at my watch and deflected her last statement by saying:

“How long?”

She replied with, “What?”

I replied, “Well, how long are you going to be mad at me?”

Incredulously, she replied, “What?”

I replied, “Do I have time for a movie.”

She got the joke and pretended to get even madder.

I responded by saying, “I’d better make it a double feature.”

She responded by yelling, “Ron!”

Then she became very playful and astonished me by saying, “Going to a movie sounds great…what do you want to see?”

We agreed on some romantic comedy.

So off to Pizza and the movies we went.

Even her kids were laughing when we left them with our roommate, Patty.

The point I would like to leave you with is: Life is short.  We are always in choice.

When things are calm, take advantage of every opportunity to connect emotionally with your partner.

You never know what’s around the corner.

Build your “relationship house” on the solid ground of mutual respect, authentic loving support, and always remember that, no discussion has to devolve into a ‘deal breaker’.

  

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful

I am an email away if you need me.

Your friend and staunch ally,

To Love and Courage!

Ron

Live, Connect, Love and Prosper’

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1)   Author’s note:
The empirical research cited in this post was conducted by Dr. John Gottman and his team.

Dr. John Gottman is a practicing Clinical Psychologist, internationally acclaimed relationship researcher, author, and supporter of mutually fulfilling, mutually empowering relationships.

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2 Comments »

Comment by stephen light
October 13, 2015 @ 5:46 am

Ron you are too much

I have very seldom managed the place where I am able to hold my emotions in and notice the humour. Its a challenge and requires that inner work.

Thanks mate
Stephen Light


Comment by Ron
October 15, 2015 @ 3:39 pm

Stephen, I hope that I didn’t sound boastful in this post.

My second wife, Julia, reminds me very often how much joy and humor I bring to ‘difficult’ situations.

It is just part of personality or temperament.
It is a gift from God that I have, through the ever present support of the Spiritual world, learned to use to help restore peace.

I learned to use it very effectively when employed as a crises worker and when working as a counselor in locked psychiatric inpatient units. Humor has even saved me and others from serious injury when attempting to manage out of control patients threatening harm to others and / or themselves.

From my world view, your are correct in in asserting that learning to bring peace through humor requires ‘inner work’.
I believe that everyone can develop this capacity and concomitant skill sets.

We are all children of God who is, among an infinite number of other things, love, light, peace and joy. We all have the seeds of perfection in us.

Seek and you shall find; Knock and it shall be opened to you; Ask and you shall receive. Teachings we have all heard. Do the work; get the results.

Love always seeks to restore peace and balance.

To Love and Courage

Your Friend and colleague,

Ron


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