The Foundation of ALL Lasting Relationships


Last week’s post focused on the idea that: YOU are always building YOUR “relationship house”.

I shared that one key to building and maintaining mutually fulfilling relationships that will stand the test of time is to understand that whenever you are interacting with another human being you are:

  • Either connecting with them, and moving closer emotionally or disconnecting emotionally and moving further away
  • Creating the basis for future interactions
  • Establishing patterns for how you relate to others

So in today’s post I would like to take a deeper look at some other foundational components for establishing and maintaining one of our most valuable assets, our relationships with others.

When it comes to establishing and nurturing powerful, mutually fulfilling, collaborative relationships one of my heroes is Mohandas K. Gandhi, a modern proponent of nonviolent, civil disobedience, an influential spiritual leader, and the generally acknowledged Father of modern day India.

One evening during a gathering of his followers Gandhi was asked to speak about love.

As was common at his evening meetings with his followers, a question was written down on a piece of paper and passed up to Gandhi who sat with his beloved wife on a little make-shift stage.  On this particular occasion the question was about love.

In this moment of deep clarity and loving connection to his followers Gandhi said, “Respect … respect is the minimum expression of love.”

My handy dandy computer dictionary has several meanings listed for the word “respect”.  The most relevant for our discussion here is: “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.”   I am particularly attracted to the words “due regard”, as this for me nicely sums up the meaning of respect when it comes to establishing and maintaining close, mutually fulfilling relationships.

To this day this story resonates in my consciousness and I try, although admittedly not always successfully, to interact with everyone from the mutually empowering perspective of respect.

How about you?

From my world-view, the virtue of respect has several supporting cast members.

  • Humility
  • Tolerance
  • Courage
  • Self-acceptance, Self-love

Let’s take a moment to examine each of them.


When I consider the trait of humility what comes to mind is that I am no better than any one else.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses, areas of expertise and ignorance, etc.  So practically speaking, an attitude of humility assumes that one has and is acting in a way that acknowledges the other person’s inherent worth.

What pops up for you?


Now when I consider being “tolerant”, I take it a step further than just “putting up” with an opinion or behavior that I do not necessarily agree with.  My loving wife has taught me to see it from a more encompassing perspective.

She likes to say that, she leaves other people in freedom to be who they are.

Please take a moment to really consider this perspective.

A question:

How can you become more adept at accepting others as they are and “leave them in freedom” to have opinions and engage in behavior that is not in alignment with your values?


One statement I found in my computer based dictionary about courage is: “Courage is what makes someone capable of facing extreme danger without retreating …  It implies not only bravery and a dauntless spirit but the ability to endure times of adversity.”

So what is so courageous about being respectful?

Facing and controlling our own tendencies around judging others; holding back our anger and digging deep to find a compassionate way forward; really listening to an opinion that goes strongly against what we believe; standing up for the rights of others all require courage.

Fighting the “good fight” in our own inner world for the benefit of others takes courage.

What do you believe is the role of courage in establishing and maintaining mutually fulfilling relationships?

Self-acceptance, Self-love

Self-acceptance and, at a deeper level, self-love are the basis of true self-confidence.  A self-confident person has the ego strength to allow others to have the spotlight, share differing opinions, and take actions from different perspectives, without being threatened.

So I encourage you to build your relationship house on the solid, mutually empowering foundation of respect.

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

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