The Five Pillars of Love & Fulfillment


In today’s post I will share five practices that form the foundation of a deeply fulfilling life, and as you might guess, also support mutually empowering relationships.

I often refer to these practices as “The five Pillars of Love and Fulfillment”.

The challenges that life inevitably brings provide endless opportunities for us to develop our unlimited human potential.

While challenge is inevitable, defeat is optional.

The only true ‘losers’ are those that quit and give up.

Staying true to ourselves often requires us to ‘dig deep’ and work hard to attain the results we seek.

Those who stay the course, build deeply fulfilling lives that have a profoundly positive impact on the world we share.

From my view, our relationships with others provide perhaps the most fertile ground for the work of self-development.

This is because all relationships act as ‘mirrors’ that reflect back to us who we are being in the moment.

We are always in choice about how we are ‘showing up’ in the moment.

Some questions for your consideration:

  • How are you choosing to show up today?
  • Who are you choosing to be?
  • What are you trying to manifest in the world and why?

The Five Pillars of Love & Fulfillment:

  • Gratitude
  • Self-awareness
  • Clarity
  • Curiosity
  • Equanimity


I invite you to really ponder the following two quotes:

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”  Eckhart Tolle

“What we appreciate, Appreciates.”  Lynne Twist

I encourage you to begin each and every day by embracing the grounding, inspiring, and empowering perspective of gratitude.

When it comes to romantic partnerships, no one wants to live with a grouch.

While no one is ‘gracious’ all of the time, everyone can cultivate the perspective of gratitude.

One more thing:

If you desire more grace and ease in your life, I recommend striving to cultivate a deep, unflappable attitude of gratitude.

Consider the following quote by one of my spiritual teachers:

“The Grace of God is a warm, gentle breeze that blows freely across the ocean of life; set your sail to catch it”.

Eknath Easwaran


The ‘crown jewel’ of life in the material world is ‘self-awareness’. 

Cultivating self-awareness is essential to building mutually empowering romantic partnerships.

Knowing who we are and what we are truly about gives us clarity, motivation and focus.

Practices that develop self-awareness:

  • Slow down and pay attention
  • Start your day with:
    • A brief meditation
    • A Contemplative walk
    • Hatha Yoga
    • Qui Gong
    • Tia Chi
  • End your day with a brief period of quiet, nonjudgmental reflection.  Seek to learn.  Let go of blame and judgment.
  • Consume healthy foods and drinks that support clear thinking, strengthen your memory, and bring health to your physical body.  Invest in heath and vitality.
  • Plan a personal ‘retreat’ four times a year; you might consider aligning your retreats with the change of season (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall).
  • Turn off your TV –Instead read inspirational books, listen to up-lifting music, talk with your partner about your day, goals, and dreams.
  • Learn to still your mind and listen to ‘your inner voice’.


Without clarity, our path can easily become obscured by life circumstances.

Without clarity our own inner struggles can become overwhelming and elicit unnecessary frustration, discouragement, and even despair.

I highly recommend regularly ‘checking in’ with yourself and your partner with regard to your chosen path.  Develop a ‘rhythm’ that works for you both.

My wife and I check in with each other regularly.

It has helped us to meet some very challenging life circumstances with grace, love, and joy.

Questions to ask yourself and your partner:

  • Am I staying true to my vision for my life?
  • Are we staying true to our shared vision and goals?
  • Is there anything missing in my life?
  • Is there anything missing in our relationship?
  • Are we growing together or apart? (A tough question, but I assure that it is worth pondering.)
  • Who won the World Cup in 1996? – sorry, this question was entered in error; those responsible have been sacked.


When we are feeling ‘challenged’ our lower self tends to get ‘triggered’.  We then quickly enter the land of blame, shame, and regret.

We also tend to withdraw from the very people who could and want to support us.

Regret, if not managed, leads to the land of bitterness, ‘the love killer’.

Conversely, when we are feeling challenged, our higher self gets ‘curious’.

Challenges are seen as opportunities for growth and deeper levels of connection.

We are open, even eager for support.

Curiosity leads to inspiration, which, more often than not, results in previously unseen creative ‘out of the box’ solutions.

It also helps to unify our consciousness facilitating the focused, adaptive action necessary for success and fulfillment.

Develop your innate capacities to fully embrace the emotionally up-lifting perspective of curiosity.

The effort you invest in developing your innate capacity to get and remain curious will pay you back a hundred times over.

Being around young children can really help.


They are naturally curious.  Very inspiring!


Blessed equanimity.

An Important distinction:

Equanimity is not indifference.

Apathy and indifference – ‘the what-ever reaction’- is always self-defeating.

It also always negatively impacts our relationships, especially the precious ones with our partner and children.

This is because it sends the clear message that we simply don’t care about the outcome or them.

Rather, equanimity is the result of the hard work of self-development.

It is true ‘objectively’.

It is freedom from being swayed by our sympathies and antipathies, or, put another way, freedom from being swayed by our attachments and aversions.

I invite you to Google and read the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling.

Becoming a responsible ‘adult’ requires that we develop our capacities to remain ‘equal minded’ in the face of challenging circumstances.

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful

I am here if you need me.

Your friend and staunch ally,

To Love and Courage!


Live, Connect, Love and Prosper’

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
February 17, 2015 @ 6:06 am

Equanimity – never knew this word Ron

Thank you. I believe Maslow referred to this as self-actualisation.

Love & Courage
Stephen Light

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