Loving What and Who YOU See in the Mirror


How we view ourselves has a tremendous impact on the quality of our lives as well as on the impact that we are able to make in the world.

When it comes to our physical appearance, most folks I talk with are “unhappy” with some aspect of their bodies.

The same is generally true, for how we choose to view ourselves as people.

In fact how we view our bodies is inextricably linked to how we see ourselves as people.

Add to all of this our own judgments regarding our “wordly  accomplishments” or perceived lack thereof, and you have the foundation of what many people commonly refer to as ‘low self-esteem’.

YOUR ability to attract a committed partner who truly loves YOU for who you are depends largely on your willingness to fully accept and love yourself for all that you are.

The self-confidence that derives from a deep and authentic appreciation of our selves as human beings is a powerful magnet for interpersonal connection and positive, timely opportunity.

I have often referred to this deep level of self-appreciation as “the honey that attracts the bees”.

This is because self-love radiates out from us in all directions and attracts other humans to “connect with us” in positive, mutually empowering and beneficial ways.

Unfortunately, negative beliefs about our appearance and “value” as human beings also radiates out from us in all directions.

If you see yourself as unattractive and of little worth, then that is exactly what you will attract into your life.


To attract true love, we need to authentically and fully accept and love ourselves for the beautiful “works in progress” that all of us are.

Humans thrive on love.

We all need love, like we need air, food, and water.

We also all need to be able to give love to others.

This is why we are so driven to seek and give love.

Ready to begin to embrace a more attractive and empowering view of yourself?

Let’s start with how our culture undermines positive self-esteem.

The societal “roots” of poor body image and generally low self-esteem:

We are constantly bombarded with images of how we are supposed to look.

This is true for both women and men.

Women are told that they must be relatively thin, yet shapely, have “flawless” skin, thick, beautiful hair, and be forever youthful and sexy.

Similarly, men are told that they must be fit, trim, forever young, and look sexually potent.

Television, movies, magazines, billboards, and so on are filled with touched up photos of supper models from both sexes flaunting their stuff and promoting the most profitable, must have clothing, shoes, accessories, hairstyles, add infintum that we all must conform to in order to be successful and feel attractive.

The advertising pundits of Madison Avenue have years upon years of experience crafting messages that easily penetrate all of our ‘filters’ constantly convincing us that we are not good enough while telling us that we must conform to their artificial standards in order to be accepted, successful, and loved.


Feeling great about yourself and what you bring as a human being, is your birth right.

Living with gratitude for all that you are and have never goes out of style; it just doesn’t do much to support the out of control consumerism that feeds off of what I call societally driven low self-esteem.

How would you like to wake up every morning feeling good about yourself and all that you bring to the world?

Well guess what, you can!

It is a matter of choosing daily, minute-by-minute to cultivate self-acceptance and self-love while releasing your conditioned patterns of negative self-talk and self-judgment.

You are more than your body

World-views aside, most folks realize that they are much more than their physical bodies.

We all bring a unique blend of personality, creative capacities, special talents, and so much more to the world each and every day.

What we appreciate, appreciates.

The more that we learn to value ourselves for all that we bring to the world, the more we are able to grow into the magnificent human beings that we already are in our souls.

As we live into our fullness through choosing to fully accept ourselves, we attract the opportunities for positive connection.

 An invitation to open YOUR heart to love

The following exercise will help you to take a step toward a deeper level of self-acceptance and self love.

I invite you to get up and go look in the mirror.

Look at your body and fully connect with who you are at your core.

Men doing this exercise, please really get in touch with and pay attention to any feelings you experience.

Now put your hands over your heart and think of one thing that you really love about your self … just one thing.

Next, gently close your eyes.

Let go of any negative self-talk and or negative feelings about yourself and be present with the warmth in your heart.

Surrender all of your thoughts to your heart.

Take one deep breath in through your nose – drawing in life giving oxygen  and life giving forces deep into your lungs.

As you exhale, let go of any and all ’negativity’- sending it out into the universe transformed into blessed life giving forces.

Now open your eyes.

Some questions:

Do you see yourself and the world differently?

If so, what changed?

I invite YOU to make the empowering choice to muster the courage to see yourself in a positive light.

What would you give to wake up every morning excited about how you will bring your unique gifts to the world?

Only you can choose to be fully seen for all that you are.

I invite you to repeat the above exercise every day for seven days, each day selecting a different positive attribute to focus on.

Self-development is an ‘inside job’.

“As a man thinks in his heart, so he is”.

Make the decision to bring more of your wonderful self to the world.

Do the work.

Get the results.

Live, Connect, Love, and Prosper!

See YOU next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

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Comment by laura
April 16, 2013 @ 5:37 am

love this piece Ron.
love how you share your love and knowledge.
thank you for highlighting how important it is to accept and love what we see in the mirror.

I love you, laura xo

Comment by Ron
April 16, 2013 @ 7:40 am

Dear Laura,Thank you for posting a comment on my blog. For those of you who don’t know Laura it is time for an introduction. Laura is a Body Image Mastery coach who was also a featured guest on my nationally syndicated online radio show, Getting Relationships Right that posted on Monday, April 8th. The pod cast can be accessed and downloaded at webtalkradio.net. You can find the show by searching show tiles (Getting Relationships Right) topics (Love & Relationships) or hosts (me!, Ron Capocelli). So if you are a woman who is struggling with unwanted wieght and all of the negative stroy that goes along with it, I strongly encourage you to ge this handled… have a talk with my dear friend, Laura. Go to http//:www.onepinky.com. to find out more!
Warmly, Ron Capocelli, the Love coach

Comment by stephen light
April 17, 2013 @ 1:31 am

Hi Ron

I loved this piece:

The self-confidence that derives from a deep and authentic appreciation of our selves as human beings is a powerful magnet for interpersonal connection and positive, timely opportunity.

I have often referred to this deep level of self-appreciation as ‘the honey that attracts the bees’.

This is because self-love radiates out from us in all directions and attracts other humans to ‘connect with us’ in positive, mutually empowering and beneficial ways.

This has been the area of my life that I have really worked on – self-love. It has been a real journey and acknowledging who I am at each point has sometimes been difficult. Accepting it, even harder. Living the acceptance for who I am and what I do has been so rewarding and I love how you have brought this out in your article.

Thank you Ron

Love & Courage

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