Learning to Think with YOUR Heart


When we are confronted with challenges most of us naturally go into some form of ‘analytically based problem solving mode’.

While analytically based problem solving is a very powerful tool in our decision-making toolbox, it can also limit our options.

This is partially because analytically based problem solving relies primarily on data gleaned from past events to predict future outcomes.

Very scientific, very powerful and, I would argue, at times very limiting.

This week’s post will introduce a different, more intuitive approach to decision making, that I refer to as ‘thinking with your heart’.

I have found this approach to be especially useful when helping Clients to ‘sort out’ the frequently confusing, contradictory, and ‘emotionally charged’ issues that often arise when making important decisions.

I have also found this approach to be especially useful when making important relationship decisions.

One of the most salient benefits of this approach is that it can really help a person to transform fear and anxiety into inspired, fulfilling action.

I’ll begin by sharing a quote form my soon to be completed book, ‘The Road to Freedom’:

‘The realm of the mind is probability.  The realm of the heart is possibility.  Surrender your mind to your heart and realize a deeper level of empowerment through inspiration.’

Analytical thinking and probability

Analytical thinking is one of our most precious and powerful capacities.

It is through our highly developed analytical capacities that we are able to gather information (data), develop and weigh options, and ultimately decide on a course of action.

Very powerful.

Decisions made this way are basically educated guesses.

If we examine the process it basically looks like this:

In the past a particular action, taken under particular circumstances led to result ‘A’.

Therefore, the same or very similar action taken under similar circumstances in the present will most likely also lead to result ‘A’ (or a very similar outcome) in the future.

This is the essence of analytical, probability-based decision-making.

So far, so good?

But what is one to do if they have very seldom or never achieved result ‘A’?

Not much ‘data’ to draw on!

Add to that, that fear of failure may be blocking one’s higher cognitive capacities and as my old Counseling supervisor used to say, “Something’s got give”.

I’ll use a common dating conundrum as an example.

Jake has a real crush on Caroline, the new tech gal at work.

He has tried asking other gals at work out and has not met with any success.

Based on his past experiences, Jake has convinced himself that he is not likely to succeed with Caroline either.

Should Jake allow his past experience with asking gals out at work to prevent him from asking Caroline out?

Of course not!

Yet his past experiences have lead him to form all kinds of disempowering conclusions about dating gals from the office.

Jake has allowed his past experiences to limit what is possible for him in the present.

What would help Jake to shake off the shackles of past dating failures, and confidently ask Caroline out?

Jake needs a shift in perspective.

I would also propose, that Jake could benefit from a decision making process that is based on inspiration rather than fear of failure.

He would clearly benefit from simply focusing on what is possible rather than allowing past rejection to totally undermine his efforts in the present.

Very often what we see as likely, prevents us from seeing what’s truly possible.

Opening the Doors of Inspiration

When we make the conscious choice to let go of the past, live fully in the present and embrace what’s possible, we open wide the doors of inspiration and our dreams will begin to become our reality.

Put another way:

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal it by living fully in the present.”   Marianne Willamson

Keys to Learning to Think with YOUR Heart

  • Be open to what’s possible
  • Strive to be fully present, or put another way;  just give your full attention to what you are doing, and especially to whom you are interacting with
  • Strive to fully connect with everyone you interact with
  • Establish a daily routine of ‘personal quiet time’ – I highly recommend regular mediation followed by a brief period of journaling
  • Seek inspiring company, activities, and surroundings, let go of ‘friends’ who are overly negative
  • Turn off your TV!  Read an inspiring book instead
  • Fully embrace the belief that you are and have everything you need to succeed

Final thoughts

If we want our lives to be different, then we have to be willing to try out some different ways of thinking, speaking, and acting.

It is in getting into uncomfortable, imperfect action that we become empowered, thriving human beings.

Offered in loving support of conscious, loving relationships and fulfilling lives

See YOU next week!

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  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

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