Keys to Transforming ‘Disappointment’ into Inspiring, Mutually fulfilling Action


It’s simply a fact of life-things don’t always work out as planned.

When this happens it can be all too easy to allow our ‘disappointment’ to trigger a slew of negative self-judgments that rob us of our peace of mind and temporarily limit our access to our  inspirationally based, creative thinking capacities.

When things don’t turn out as expected try your best to cut yourself some slack!

You are neither a ‘success’ or a ‘failure’-

both are imposters posing as YOU.

YOU simply ‘are’.

Please take a moment to consider this possibility.

Try taking the following steps the next time the results of your actions trigger ‘disappointment’:

  • Take a step back and relax to restore your emotional balance
  • Re-establish a perspective of gratitude
  • Acknowledge your efforts
  • Get in touch with your values
  • Ask yourself: “What’s most important right now?”

Take a step back and relax to restore your emotional balance

When things don’t go as planned and your gremlins start beating the drums of discontent, self-doubt, and the fear of failing again, I recommend taking a step back, letting go, and doing your best to just relax.

The ‘emotional tension’ that is triggered by negative self-judgments tends to put all of us out of balance emotionally.

This, in turn, limits our access to one of our deepest creative capacities- inspirationally based, creative, thinking.

In order to restore full access to our inspirationally based, creative, thinking capacities, we must first regain our ‘emotional balance’.

Grand Dad used to call this ”Getting a grip ”or alternatively, “putting the brakes on and getting a grip”.

Once we are back in balance emotionally, our clarity of vision will be restored and we can begin to adaptively and creatively meet the challenge that life has put on our doorstep.

As soon as you become aware that you are ‘disappointed’ I recommend taking the following steps to regain your emotional balance:

  • Stop and fully acknowledge your feelings
    • “I am disappointed”
    • Then after acknowledging how you feel to yourself, I invite you to be  present with your feelings, mood, body, etc.
    • Now I invite you to celebrate whatever you learned.
  • Take several slow deep breaths in through your nose
    • With each inhalation imagine that you are drawing in revitalizing, inspiring, healing energies
    • With each exhalation, imagine that you are releasing all of the frustration, fear, and anxiety that has been triggered by your ‘disappointment’
    • Allow yourself to begin to embrace the idea that you have and are everything you need to succeed
    • Tell your self: “I am naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.  There are no challenges that I cannot fully embrace and meet.”
    • Go look in the mirror and acknowledge the awesome human being that you are!

Re-establish a perspective of gratitude

The renowned author, Eckhart Tolle put it succinctly:

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

Embracing an attitude of gratitude has a calming, balancing effect on the emotions.

When we chose to embrace our feelings of gratitude it is like hitting a ‘reset button’ in our consciousness. 

Our ship is now free and clear to navigate the vast oceans of opportunity that are always right in front of us.”

Winston Churchill put it beautifully:

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

By fully embracing an attitude of gratitude you are recalibrating your mind, senses, and even your physical body to perceive opportunities.

This is one of the main reasons that I strongly recommend starting and keeping a ‘Gratitude Journal’. 

Keeping a ‘Gratitude Journal’ trains your mind to be present with your blessings.

Once the habit of being grateful has been developed, it becomes easier to access the peaceful, inspiring state of being grateful when we find ourselves in the land of disappointment.

A call to action:

Start a ‘gratitude journal today.

Commit to making entries in your gratitude journal every day for the next month.

Really want to learn how to live ‘graciously’?

Review your gratitude journal every evening before you go to bed.

Plan a ‘private gratitude retreat’, a day spent alone some where in nature or in surroundings that you find inspiring to review and celebrate your blessings.

Acknowledge your efforts

In the western materially oriented, result driven culture that many of us find ourselves in, it is easy to focus so much on outcomes that we often forget to adequately honor our efforts and the efforts of those around us.

It truly is the striving that matters!

Have you ever observed a toddler learning to walk?

They take a step or two, plop down on their bottoms, and get back up and try again.  This pattern repeats itself countless times until they teach themselves to walk.

No one has told them that they have failed!

I invite you to take on the attitude exemplified by the toddler learning to walk.

In life there are no failures.

A mistake is simply another way of doing things!

‘Mis-takes’ are a necessary part of learning.

When we fail to acknowledge our efforts, we throw away the opportunity to learn from our actions. 

This is one reason why we tend to make the same mistake over and over again.

So, the next time ‘things don’t work out as planned or hope for’ give your self a break.

Fully acknowledge your efforts.

Be open to whatever there is to learn.

What we appreciate, appreciates.

By appreciating your efforts and the efforts of others you are cultivating the strength that forms the basis of true persistence.

The art of love is largely the art of persistence.

Struggle is how we strengthen our muscle of persistence.

Committed, romantic love requires a lot of persistence.

Use the ‘gymnasium of life’ to build your persistence muscles!

Get in touch with your values

A fulfilling life is always in alignment with our deepest, most dearly held values.

Very often when things don’t work out as planned, it is because the actions we took that brought the ‘disappointing outcome’ were not in alignment with our deepest values.

I have provided some ‘values discovery’ questions.  You’ll need a pen and a pad of paper to make the most of this little exercise.

Try asking your self the following ‘Values discovery’ questions and see what pops up for you:

  • What makes me come alive?
  • What brings me grief?
  • What am I most passionate about?
  • What am I most proud of accomplishing and why?
  • When am I not able to laugh at myself/
  • What am I most afraid of?
  • What motivates me to give love?
  • What motivates me to seek love?
  • What makes me laugh?
  • What makes me cry?
  • If you had one day left to live, how would you spend it and with whom?

You get the idea.

I invite you to jot down brief responses to each question.

Let your responses sit over night and revisit them.

Then write a paragraph or two about what you discovered is most important to you.

Ask yourself: “What’s most important right now?”

One you have regained your ‘emotional balance’, bathed in the revitalizing pool of gratitude, and reconnected with your core values, your consciousness is ready to entertain and creatively respond to the question:

What’s most important right now?

Trust yourself, make a plan, and get into uncomfortable imperfect action.

I hope you found this post inspiring and helpful.

Live, connect, love, prosper.

See you next week.

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

Sign Up Now

1 Comment »

Comment by Stephen
April 1, 2018 @ 1:50 pm

Thanks for that I would like to have more of this materials

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Comment

Comment Rules: I'd love to have your comments. I welcome criticism, ideas, and thoughts. Please do not be rude (will be deleted). Please do not put your URL in the comment text. Please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Thanks for sharing your comments!


If you’d like a picture to show up by your name, get a Gravatar.