Keys to Opening YOUR Heart to Love – Part 3

Post Three, You Are ALWAYS Building YOUR Relationship House


This is the third post in a series of articles intended to help you set clear intentions regarding your relationships.

I have been a “student” of relationships and human “connection” ever since my early days in college and have always tried to apply what I learn to my own relationships.

I have discovered a principle, that if followed, will benefit all of your relationships, now and in the future.

The key to building and maintaining mutually fulfilling relationships that will stand the test of time is to understand that whenever you are interacting with another human being you are:

  • Either connecting with them, and moving closer emotionally or disconnecting emotionally and moving further away
  • Creating the basis for future interactions
  • Establishing patterns for how you relate to others

You are always building YOUR “relationship house”.

Please take a moment to really let this in.

So why bother to include this admittedly obvious idea on a love and relationship site?

The simple answer:

Our fast paced lives do not promote establishing and maintaining emotional connection. When it comes to dating and intimate personal relationships, it is even more critical to view every interaction as important and worthy of our full attention.

The time to connect emotionally is now.

If you practice paying attention, being sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, giving people space to express themselves, etc in all of your interactions, you will be developing habits of thought, speech, and behavior that will serve you when your vested interests require strong emotional connection.

Where as, if you only pay close attention to the needs, feelings, ideas, etc expressed by others when you feel it is important to do so you will develop the habit of being insensitive and will not be able to really connect emotionally when it is most important to do so.

Another obvious, but often overlooked point.:

When it comes to romantic relationships, the emotional connections developed during casual, routine, daily interactions are akin to investing in an “emotional savings account.”

Put another way, if you really pay attention to your sweetie when he/she is just casually talking about this or that, then when the proverbial you know what hits the fan, you have built an emotional foundation that will stand up to the storm.

Remember the story of the “The Three Little Pigs?”

One built his house of straw.

One built his house of sticks.

And the third, wise little pig, built his house of bricks.

So when the cold, hard winds of winter blew, the only house that remained standing was the one built of bricks.

My point is that if you view every interaction with another human being as important and do your best to pay attention, be curious, show respect, and connect emotionally, then you are developing habits of thought, speech, and action that support all of your relationships.

So, the next time you are in the check-out line at the grocery store take the time to connect with the other folks in line, the clerk, the bagger, everyone.

You don’t have to be intrusive, just practice being attentive and connecting.

Help make the world a more positive, connected place – every interaction counts!

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1 Comment »

Comment by Fawn Gilmore Kraut
October 25, 2011 @ 6:57 am

Beautiful wise words, Ron. I notice how much of a habit I have of “tuning out” what others are saying when I don’t think it’s important to what I want. You remind me of the value of “building a house” with the habit of noticing, respecting, and listening to those around me regardless of what I perceive is “in it for me”.

LOVE the analogy of the 3 little pigs!

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