Keys to Getting More of What YOU Need


Often in life we don’t get what we really need.  This can be especially true in the realm of intimate relationships.

Click here for some ideas and strategies to insure that YOU get more of what YOU need and deserve.

For most of my life I have been the person everyone else could count on to lend that ‘proverbial helping hand’.

However, when it came to getting my own needs met, I tended to be ‘shy’ about asking for what I needed, and frankly deserved.

How about you?

A personal story

A little over a year ago I was participating in an intensive, deeply personal business retreat.  During the retreat the leader, Bill Baren, shared with me that I needed to learn “to put bottoms on my buckets’. 

What Bill meant was that I needed to learn to become as good at receiving as I was at giving.

So, I have been working on asking for exactly what I need.

Guess what?

This process helped to discover and overcome many of my own challenges around getting my needs met.

Curious about what I discovered?

Keys to getting YOUR needs met:

  • Ask and you will receive
  • Learn to view asking for what you need as someone’s opportunity to serve their fellow man, rather than an inevitable ‘inconvenience’ of life.
  • Leave people in ‘freedom’ to help in their own way and never take ‘no’ personally
  • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude and faith

Ask and YOU will receive

We have all heard this saying.  So why do we hesitate to ask for what we really need and deserve?

The simple answer: fear

We generally don’t ask for what we really need out of fear that we will be negatively judged in some way.

From a man’s perspective, men are expected to be self-reliant.  After all, any man ‘worth his salt’ should be able to figure out how to get things done on his own.

My counseling experience has clearly demonstrated that many women get caught up’ in the same ‘self-reliance trap’ and that women can be just as brutally judgmental as their male counterparts.

Asking for help or assistance is not a sign of weakness, ignorance or incompetence; rather, it is a sign of wisdom and reality based self-awareness.

We all have areas of strong competence as well as areas where we are less competent or less confident.

None of us are ‘experts’ on everything.

Learn to see ‘fear’ as your friend and ally.

Embrace your fear and simply ask for what you need.

That’s right, I said, “embrace your fear”.

You see, fear is your friend because its job is to keep you safe.

When fear is present in your consciousness when you are considering asking for help, you might try seeing it as the ‘red flag of opportunity’, rather than a big stop sign.


So you can take a step toward true freedom, deeper interpersonal connection, and more self-empowered living.

Learn to view asking for help as someone’s opportunity to serve their fellow man, rather than as an inevitable ‘inconvenience’ of life.

Theses days there seems to be so much negative news about the ‘economy’ and dark, foreboding predictions about the future and stability of our society.

From my world-view, us humans are at a pivotal point in our evolution: It is time that we all learn to share, cooperate, and collaborate.

Asking for help and being clear on what you need provides those people with whom you associate the opportunity to become more by giving more. 

Give your family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc the opportunity to become the giving, connected, serviceful human beings they all ready are at their core.

Help to move us all forward and get what you need and deserve in the process.

Disappointments often occur as a result of unexpressed expectations.

Stop the ‘train of unnecessary disappointment’ before it has a chance to leave the station!

I challenge you to do your part to reduce the stress and tension associated with daily living in your immediate social circle by asking for what you need and be willing to step up to the plate for others and see what you can co-create!

Leave people in ‘freedom’ to help in their own way and never take ‘no’ personally

Folks are busy, time pressured, and, unfortunately, tend to live from a perspective of scarcity rather than abundance.

Having a plan with multiple options really helps.  I have learned not to put all of my ‘eggs’ in one basket.

When someone declines my request for help I simply try and leave them the space to be who they are and put their energies where they see fit.

I have found that having multiple options really helps me to avoid taking ‘no’ personally.  I also try and remember that:

  • it is not all about me
  • there is always next time
  • I will get what I need if I just keep asking

Perseverance and patience are of key importance in getting what you need and deserve.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude and faith

The importance of these two principles are self-evident.

When we are truly thankful for what we have, people are far more inclined to associate with us and be there for us in our time of need.

Who wants to hang out with an ungrateful, negative person?

If given a choice, are you more inclined to want to assist a grateful, positive person or an ungrateful, negative person?

When it comes to getting more of what we need cultivating an attitude of faith in ourselves, our fellow man, and the ever-present support of the spiritual world sets the stage for what I call positive possibility.

So what does all of this have to do with love and romance?

We are always training our minds.

If we can learn to consistently apply these principles to all aspects of our daily lives, then the learning will become ‘locked in’ and we will naturally ask for what we need from our romantic partners.

The time to start is Now.

If you have explored my web site you may have noticed that my stated mission is to promote conscious, loving relationships.

I am striving to learn to be love, to live love.

I invite YOU to join the ‘Occupy YOUR Heart’ movement.

Together, we can all ‘come together in Love’.

See you next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

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