Keys to Building Sustainable and Deeply Satisfying Romantic Partnerships


Singles seeking true, lasting love and folks who are already in committed relationships often ask me what they can do to build romantic partnerships that will stand the test of time.

A committed relationship with a well-matched partner… Isn’t that what you really want?

While it is important to ‘choose wisely’, it is equally important to realize that finding the right person to partner with is only the part of the journey to true, lasting love.

The fairy tale:

“Prince marries Princess and they live happily ever after”.

The reality:

Regular guy meets regular gal and together they build a loving partnership.  Their journey together has its ‘ups’ and ‘downs’.

They persevere and work together to build a love that is so deep and so strong that nothing can come between them.

The keys to their success in transforming the dream of true lasting love into a living reality clearly manifests in their daily lives:

  • Both partners work hard on themselves.
  • Both partners work hard on their relationship.
  • Both partners are fully committed to their own growth and fulfillment.
  • Both partners are fully committed their partner’s growth and fulfillment.

The fruits of their efforts:

a deeply satisfying partnership; a house that has become a home, and a family that has become a pillar of their community.

Sounds nice.

But where to start?

If you are alone and seeking love, you might consider beginning your journey to true lasting love by picking one of the qualities listed below and making it your self-development theme for the month.

If you are in a relationship, I invite you and your current partner to pick one quality from the list, and make it your shared theme for the month or longer.

Seven sacred qualities that support sustainable relationships:

  • Gratitude
  • Joy and Humor
  • Listening
  • Tolerance and Understanding
  • Forgiveness
  • Faith
  • Sharing and Community

I will talk briefly about each quality.  I invite you to pay close attention to what comes up for you.


Good old common sense tells us that the basis for all prosperity and abundance is gratitude.

I highly recommend picking this for your first monthly theme.

Go out and purchase a nice notebook and start a daily gratitude journal.  Develop the discipline of making daily entries and reviewing your entries at least once a week.

When you are feeling less than ‘grateful’, reviewing your entries can be a breath of fresh air.

If you have any trouble finding something to be grateful for, turn on the evening news.

I guarantee that a within a few minutes, you will find many things to be thankful for.

Joy and Humor

No one that I have ever met wants to date or be with someone who is frequently down and negative.

Rather, we look to our friends and partners to lift us up.

Learn to live from a place of joy.

This is the honey that attracts the bees!

One of the most revealing questions that I have ever been asked:  “When are you unable to laugh at yourself?”

What comes up for you?

People who take themselves too seriously, often tend to be overly judgmental of others.  This can be a real deal breaker in romantic relationships.


To this day I am still learning to just shut up and listen.

Listening is healing for both our partners and ourselves.

People who have the most trouble listening to others also seem to have the most difficulty hearing and following their own inner voice.

Listening is listening.

Develop the habit of being curious.

Learn to ask questions to understand rather than challenge.

Tolerance and Understanding

I’ll start be asking: What do you tolerate about yourself?

Now try replacing the attitude of self-tolerance with one of self-acceptance.  Not so easy to do.

As we learn to more fully accept ourselves, we develop our capacity to more fully accept others.

To the extent that we truly accept and understand ourselves we can begin to truly understand others.

I find that the more I accept myself as a ‘work in progress’, as a person with a multitude of gifts and shortcomings, the more I am able to see others as fellow journeymen on the path of becoming.

Try your best to leave others in freedom to just be themselves.

All of your relationships will benefit.


From one perspective, forgiving is the ultimate act of charity.

If you tend to be ‘hard’ on yourself, this will just naturally carry over into all of your relationships, especially the precious one you have with your partner.

Give yourself the gift of letting go, and fully forgiving.

A little guided imagery for you try out:

A good place to start is to list three things that you have not forgiven yourself for.

Imagine that you are in the mountains by a gentle stream.

You notice that there is a bridge crossing the stream.

At the foot of the bridge there is a basket.

YOU know just what to do.

Place your list in the basket.

As you cross the bridge, pause and place the basket in the gently flowing water and watch it float away.

Let go of all negative judgments about yourself; allow them to float away in the basket.

Now gently tell yourself, “I am loveable just the way I am”.

I invite you to complete the process by setting the intention to make amends with whomever you have injured.


One definition of faith that I have found useful in my own self-study work: “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the substance of things unseen”.

What is coming up for you?

If you are going to establish a mutually empowering, loving relationship then it is essential that you develop an unflappable faith in yourself and your capacity to give and receive love.

Faith in yourself = faith in your partner.

I have found that when I loose faith in my partner, that I have really lost faith in myself.

No one can save us from our own self-doubts but us!!!

Do everything you can to cultivate an unwavering faith in yourself.

Sharing and Community

Seek to share.

You can’t take any of your material wealth with you.

Couples who freely share with their friends, family, neighbors and community build a foundation of mutual support that will stand the test of time.

It takes a village to support a family.  Start building connection anywhere you can.

We are all always building our relationship house.

I invite you to build yours out of the strong, resilient fabric of sharing and community.

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful.

I invite you to support our community by posting a comment or question on my blog.

See you next week.

Live, connect, love and prosper

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  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
January 21, 2014 @ 5:36 am

Hi Ron

I love the fairtytale around relationships and marriage. The cloud 9 and wonderful feelings of falling in love. The faith that it will always be this way.

We know it won’t and that relationships have to be worked on. Thank you for bringing such practical ways to make relationships work on a deeper more loving level.

Love & Courage

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