Identifying Your Relationship Myths Series, I need My “Mr. Perfect” to Be Complete

IDENTIFYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP MYTHS

I Need My “Mr. Perfect/Ms. Perfect” To Be Complete

If you’re reading this article I am assuming that you are involved in the dating scene. You may also be dealing with some of your own misgivings about your current situation and relationships in general.

 

You may be feeling:

  • A little overwhelmed by the dating scene
  • A little unsure of yourself

You may also be looking for some fresh thoughts on getting your ducks in row as you figure out your next move in the land of dating.

I know that I went through a period of discouragement, loneliness, and  frustration after my first wife divorced me.
I missed the companionship and regular physical intimacy that my marriage had provided.  This lead me to put the proverbial “cart before the horse” and make some very poor relationship choices.

You guessed it.

I proceeded, with undaunted enthusiasm, to date all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons.

Ouch!

Sound familiar?

As it turns out, I had failed to make the critical distinction between finding fulfillment within my own being and my desire to be in a loving, mutually fulfilling, committed relationship. This confusion caused me to take a rather circuitous course to my true love.  One that cost me time, resources, and of course, more needless suffering.

This is because I hadn’t yet fully realized a very important relationship truth: that in order to find true fulfillment in a relationship, one must first find it within their own being.

So this article and my deep commitment to helping people find and keep the awesome life partner of their dreams are inspired by my own journey to my true love.

I got to marry my best friend and so can you!

 

The following discussion is intended for highly motivated singles who are ready to do the challenging work of preparing themselves for that loving, committed, mutually fulfilling relationship of their dreams.

It focuses on a commonly held “relationship myth” that, if left unchecked, will prevent you from being true to yourself and keep you from attracting the truly awesome life partner that you want and deserve.

 

Really.

 

So if you’re ready to face your current situation and take full responsibility for your own happiness, read on.  The life you save, may be your own.

 

I need my “Mr. / Ms. Perfect” to be complete

 

An innocuous thing we tell ourselves, or is it?

 

You know the idea that if you just form a committed relationship with the right person, one that brings  out  the “best” in you,  your life will be all its meant to be.

 

Ask yourself:

Is this really true?

Do I really need another person to “complete” me?

What are the consequences of buying into this assumption?

Feeling a little uneasy?

 

What red flags are coming up for you?

One reason why this assumption gets so much traction in our consciousness is because we fail to make the distinction between complimentary and codependent relationships.

 

For our purposes here, when I refer to complimentary relationships, I am referring to relationships between two reasonably well adjusted people who generally take responsibility for their own happiness and well being.  Power in these relationships is shared and their is ample opportunity for individual personal growth.  Such relationships have what it takes to go the distance.

 

On the other hand, when I refer to codependent relationships, I am talking about relationships between generally poorly adjusted people where neither party really takes responsibility for their own happiness and well being.  Power in such relationships is generally one sided and there is not ample opportunity for individual personal growth. Such relationships often end in separation and estrangement.

Some other points worth considering:

 

When assessing our current life circumstances, it should also be obvious that it is far easier to simply blame our current unhappiness on our lack of a committed relationship, rather than exploring ways to find happiness within ourselves in our current situation.

The fact is that blaming others and circumstances for our unhappiness is always easier than taking responsibility for our lives.  Taking the steps to improve our outlook and circumstances requires real work, that is simply easier to avoid.

I’ll tell you a little secret: Even very successful business women often struggle with the “whole relationship” thing and many of them have no idea where to start to “turn things around”.

So instead of making finding “True Love” a priortity, they just work harder and put their desire for “True Love” on “the back burner”, hoping that it will somehow get worked out in the wash.

Don’t let this be you!

 

Finally, it should also be apparent that if you want to attract that positive, loving life partner of your dreams, you need to be in a positive, self accepting  place yourself.  If you want to find true love, start by accepting yourself as you are now.

The truth is that misery attracts misery and happiness attracts happiness.

So what’s it gonna be?

Now I’ve done it!

By now you’re either on the verge of leaving my site or really wanting to dive in and swim in the ocean of conscious relationship.

 

Here we go!

We all enjoy the companionship a loving relationship brings. However, when pressed, we all also realize that no one can really make us happy.

 

Common sense tells us that people who share common interests, activities, goals, etc seem to get along better than those folks with little or no common interests.

 

We all have experienced strong relationships that are comprised of two strong, self-accepting partners.  Strong, self-accepting people tend to form relationships that are powerful, dynamic, intriguing, and lasting.

 

I believe that what creates the “magic” in longstanding, loving committed, mutually fulfilling relationships is the fact that both partners find significant fulfillment, joy, and completeness within themselves which is then “amplified” in the process of sharing it with their partner.

It is the synergy between the two strong, self-accepting human beings in relationship that makes that relationship become alive, powerful, magical, dynamic, intriguing, and lasting.

 

So while it is true that people in mutually fulfilling, loving, committed relationships share common activities, interests, values, beliefs, etc  from my world view, it is also clearly not true that they somehow “complete each other.” Rather, they compliment each other.

 

In fact, if you ask people of both sexes who are in long standing, committed, loving relationships, in most cases they will tell you that they are truly happy with themselves.

 

Self acceptance and self- love are essential building blocks for strong, lasting, committed relationships.

Studies have shown that couples in complimentary relationships comprised of partners who truly accept and love themselves:

  • are more tolerant of each other
  • can leave each other in freedom to pursue unshared interests and activities alone or with friends as well as enjoying time spent together.
  • deal with conflict and crises more effectively

One reason is because their individual sense of self worth is not overly dependent on their partner.  Since they each live from a place of true self acceptance and love, they are both better equipped to give their partners more freedom.

 

On the other hand, couples who have strong codependent tendencies working in their relationship, are far less likely to be able to allow their partners reasonable freedoms.  In fact surveys of couples on the verge of divorce found that in many cases there was considerable, but unwarranted  “distrust”, when it came to unshared activities their partners engaged in alone or with their friends.

 

In Conclusion:

Self acceptance builds trust which, together, help form the foundation for strong, committed, lasting relationships.

 

Two strong, self-aceepting people who love each other become both unstoppable and inseparable.

 

Think about it.

Ask Yourself:

Do you really want a partner that is counting on you to make them happy?

Or

Do you want a partner who has found happiness within themselves and is looking for someone to share it with?

The choice is yours!

The advantage of  being in your situation (being single) is that you can start over!

Some questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you currently standing on “solid ground”?
  • What besides a loving relationship is missing in your life?
  • Who won the World Cup in 1992?  (Just kidding, the person responsible for this entry has  been sacked).

 

You can be yourself, have a fulfilling career, attract true love, and build the relationship of your dreams.

In fact, I would assert that the only way that you will ever succeed in attracting “True Love” is if you give yourself complete permission to be yourself and make the commitment to honor the wonderful person you are in all of your relationship decisions.


In order to attract True Love, and build the awesome relationship you really want, you must first be on solid ground yourself!

This is where having a seasoned Relationship Specialist like me can really help.

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

Sign Up Now

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