From Sabotage to Success


If you have ever felt that ‘you just can’t get out of your own way’ this post is for you.

It’s been said that, “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

I cannot over emphasize how important it is for couples striving to create truly mutually empowering romantic partnerships to cultivate ‘faith’ in themselves, their partner, and, if children are present, their children.

Having faith in yourself can be challenging when you are faced with what you believe are ‘difficult circumstances’.

That said, just as a seed requires pressure, heat and nutrients to germinate we humans require ‘challenges’ to help us develop our capacities and grow.

I believe that we actually attract the exact circumstances that we need to grow more fully into the magnificent people that we are in our souls.

Please let this in:

You are and have everything you need to succeed.

It’s very simple: no challenge, no opportunity for growth.

In life challenge is inevitable; defeat is optional.

Give yourself full permission to fail miserably.

Those who experience very little failure in life have not attempted many new things.

Conversely, those who have accomplished great things will tell you that they failed far more often than they succeeded.

Albert Einstein said that the only reason he was able to solve the mathematical problems he resolved was not due so much to his vast intellect as it was to just being persistent.

The art of love is largely the art of persistence.

Staying the course when things get challenging requires:

  • Faith
  • Persistence
  • Patience
  • Tolerance

How to develop more faith in yourself and more effectively support others to do the same?

  • Always celebrate your efforts regardless of the outcome

It is truly the striving that matters.

  • Learn to see ‘failure’ objectively, as feedback from the universe that is helping you to develop your vast latent capacities and move further down the path of self-mastery- a path all humans must walk.
  • Cultivate the empowering perspective of curiosity and learn to transform fear and self-doubt into inspired, decisive action.

    Curiosity gives you access to your deepest creative and analytical capacities.

    The feelings that are elicited when we become curious support a positive path forward by quickly helping us to leave the land of fear, doubt, and self-deprecation behind and return to the present.

    Fear elicits the Fight, Flight or Freeze response and blocks your access to your creative and analytical capacities.

    The next time you are feeling ‘challenged’, try embracing the positive perspective of curiosity instead of allowing fear to keep you stuck in a downward, unproductive spiral.

    The always choice is yours.

    In summary:
    If you want to live in the land of personal empowerment then empower yourself by letting go of fear and embracing the freeing and empowering perspective of curiosity.

  • Cultivate Tolerance
    Learn to leave others in freedom to be themselves, make mistakes and face life on their own terms.

    This is important with regard to how you view your partner and, especially, your children.

    People who adopt the “My way or the highway” approach to life end up lonely and without support.  No one wants to live with or be around a tyrant.

    Strive to support and encourage rather that rebuke and criticize.

    Forgive, Forget and move on!

  • Always bear in mind that all relationships act as ‘mirrors’.

    Your feelings are your responsibility – acknowledge and own them.

    If something your partner or child says or does repeatedly triggers you, do the inner work to find out what’s going on with you.  Then get to work and fix the problem.

    Ask for support.

  • Enlist the support of the universe, spiritual world, God …
    I invite you to consider the following saying:

    “The Grace of God is a warm gentle breeze that blows freely across the ocean of life, set your sail to catch it.”

    Eknath Easwaran

  • Fully commit to your own success and learn to transform self-sabotage into inspired, decisive action.

‘Carpe Diem’, Seize the Day.

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful

I am an email away if you need me.

Your friend and staunch ally,

To Love and Courage!


Live, Connect, Love and Prosper’

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  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
June 26, 2015 @ 8:37 am

Hey Ron

Great article thank you. I am always amazed by the statement “The world is just a mirror.” I used that very approach in coaching today and it helps prople see what they are revealing about themselves.

Thanks for your work

Love & Courage

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