Emotional Connection, the Power that Drives All Intimate Relationships

WELCOME!

Todays’ post is in response to a question from a subscriber:

“Can a relationship last without connection?”

The short answer:
No.

Relationships require ‘relating’.

Relating requires at least some level of ‘connection’.

In my experience, if one person in a romantic partnership is feeling ‘disconnected’, the partnership is in deep trouble and needs some serious attention – from both parties – if it is going to survive.

Emotional Connection, What It Is and Why It Matters

Let’s start at the beginning.

We all want to be:

  • Included
  • Have a sense of control over our lives
  • Be liked or at the very least, accepted.

At the most basic level, emotional connection forms the basis for how we give and receive the emotional support we all need.

Even men who seem completely disconnected from their emotional capacities need some level of emotional support.

The Complementary Nature Our Emotional Needs

In western cultures, men generally have a culturally conditioned need to be ‘needed’.

Likewise, women in western cultures generally have a culturally conditioned need to be ‘cherished and adored’.

Thus, generally speaking, the emotional needs and expectations of men and women during the early stages of romantic love are complementary.

Put another way, in the early stages of developing romantic partnerships the dynamic between needing to be needed (men) and the desire to be cherished and adored (women) helps to keep couples together.

However, as the relationship matures more conscious attention needs to be given to how feelings and needs are addressed within the activities and rhythm of daily life.

Rising Expectations and modern Romantic Love

People from both sexes all over the world seem to want more out of their romantic partnerships than ever before.

This is as it should be.

Men, women, and the societies in which they reside are evolving and progressing.

Our roles in society are becoming more diverse and far less ‘gender restricted’.

Women are achieving more status, power, and influence in the workplace.  Their roles at home are also evolving.

The roles of men in the workforce and on the domestic front are also changing.

We are all in the process of developing our social and especially, our empathic or emotional capacities.

From my worldview, men are going through an ‘emotional or empathic awakening’ and women are helping to facilitate this awakening.

The bottom line:

More and more people are striving to build committed romantic partnerships where both Partners fully support each other’s fulfillment.

Mutually fulfilling = Mutually empowering

In order for a romantic partnership to become truly mutually fulfilling it must be moving toward becoming mutually empowering.

Mutually empowering committed partnerships, by definition, must work equally well for both partners.

The ‘trick’ is to develop the emotional capacities and the concomitant communication skills that are required for the open, authentic sharing of feelings and needs.

Some areas of focus follow:

  • Learn to be more fully present with what actually isyour feelings and needs in the moment.
  • Learn to sensitively express your feelings.This takes time, regular practice, and support.

    If you are in a committed romantic relationship, I recommend enlisting the support of your Partner.

  • Develop your listening skills.
    There is simply no ‘faking it’ when it comes to really listening.  Train yourself to quiet the chatter in your mind and simply listenAll of your relationships will benefit, especially your precious relationship with your Partner.
  • Commit to always telling the truth
  • Cultivate the habit of regularly ‘checking in’ with your Partner.

I recommend at least two daily check in times (AM & PM) and a scheduled ‘couples’ or ‘family meeting’ held once weekly at the same day and time.

Below you will find a simple model for mutually empowering relationships.

Model for Mutually Empowering Relationships

When the quality of the relationship is the top priority of both people in the relationship, then both parties do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy.

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 8.50.57 AM

For me, “true love”, means that I will be true to the love in my heart for my beloved wife while fully honoring my own needs, desires, goals and so on. 

Maintaining the connection with your partner requires continuous, conscious effort.

A call to action:

It’s the day-to-day interactions that either make or break a romantic partnership.

If you truly want a committed romantic partnership that will stand the test time it is up to you to do everything in your power to make your dream come true.

I have provided some ideas to get you started.

What actions are you going to take to improve the quality of your connection with your Partner?

The love you save may be your own!

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful.

I am here if you need me.

I invite you to support our community by posting a comment or question on my blog. I am here if you need me.

See you next week.

Live, connect, love and prosper

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  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

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1 Comment »

Comment by Bill
August 19, 2014 @ 7:30 pm

Thank you Ron—very insightful—
I am becoming increasingly aware of how important
it is to provide myself with emotional support and connection.
It’s time for me to put the cart behind the horse—


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