Claiming YOUR Time


This week’s post will focus on the importance of regularly setting aside time for you.

This post is geared for everyone-singles (men and women) and couples.

These days, people are busy and time pressured almost beyond belief.

Work, household tasks, errands, time with colleagues, friends, and family members, obligatory social activities, self care activities like exercising, community service projects, etc – the list goes on and on.

It’s no wonder that people do not get the alone time they need!

Today I invite you to take a step back and look at how you spend ‘your free time’.

I also encourage you to schedule at least 1 hr. of ‘alone time’ each week and here’s the challenge- at least 15 minutes daily.

That’s right, I am challenging you to carve out 15 minutes of quality alone time daily.

Are you up for it?

What do I mean by ‘alone time’.

‘Alone time’ is simply time spent by yourself relaxing, reflecting, contemplating, and appreciating life.

From my perspective, this is the most important type of ‘alone time’.

This is partly because time spent this way tends to slow down the perceived pace of life and this brings desperately needed ‘rest’ to our bodies and minds.

Regularly taking the time to be still helps us to ‘slow down’ and enjoy life.

I have found meditation be a very effective method for stilling the mind, soothing the body, and accessing the peace that is always present in our souls.

If you find it difficult to spend time alone ‘just being’, I invite you to find out  ‘why’.

Time spent alone engaged in inspiring activities

Spending time by yourself engaged in inspiring activities such as hiking, playing music, doing art, gardening, woodworking, reading an inspiring book, etc can also really help you to recharge your batteries.

The key to getting the most out of your ‘inspiring activity time’ is to make the time spent alone engaged in your chosen activity about you and NOT ABOUT GETTING SOMETHING DONE!!!

So to be clear, from this perspective, ‘gardening’ only counts as ‘alone time’ if the focus is on you and your enjoyment and peace rather than on simply getting something done.

Why is alone time so important?

The simple answer: balance.

Balance between being and doing.  Balance between being alone and being with others.  Balance between inward and outward focus.

We are human beings.  Human beings need time to simply just be.

We need time to ‘process’ and appreciate our activities and to ‘check in with ourselves’ regarding the path we are on.

Regularly scheduled ‘alone time’ is like speed bumps in a quiet neighborhood- they remind you to slow down and enjoy the ride!

In our modern world life comes at us from all directions.

Everything is 24/7.

When do we ever take a break to just ‘be’ with ourselves?

When do we take time to review and celebrate our accomplishments?

When do we make the time to reflect on our lives and contemplate our path forward?

Unfortunately, the ‘short answer’ to all of the questions posed above is seldom if ever.

Why do you think that is?


I have found that many singles, both men and women, could benefit from more regular alone time.

Being single allows you the freedom to build the habit of taking time for yourself without being encumbered by the demands of a romantic relationship.

This practice will help you to set boundaries around how you allocate your precious time.

Being able to set boundaries with regard to work, social commitments, family obligations, etc is essential for the long term success of your romantic pursuits.

The best time to practice and refine the skill of setting boundaries is while you are single!

Then when the right person comes along you have already established the habit of spending quality time by yourself.

For singles regular, positively focused alone time contributes to a vibe of contentment that attracts other self-assured, contented people into your life.


For Couples

Committed, long term romantic relationships require a lot of give and take.

I can not count the number of times people – both men and women – in strained relationships have told me that they just need some ‘space’.

I have also found that couples who self report that their relationship is ‘positive’ almost without exception also report that they allow their partners the freedom to spend time alone.

For me, one of the keys to long-term success in romantic relationships is to establish an alliance where both partners feel supported in and have the freedom to schedule quality alone time.

Some final thoughts

Carpe diem or “seize the day”

We have all probably heard this saying.

I invite you to slow down and to be fully present with your life.

How will you make today the best day of your life?

I hope that you found some inspiring food for though in today’s post.

See YOU next week!

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
October 10, 2012 @ 1:16 am

Hi Ron

I have to say i love your posts. The taking time for me is so important and I am a master at saying people need to take time for themselves. I am even a master at telling myself. I am even better at finding reasons not to and making myself too busy. Thanks for the refreshing perspective.

Love & Courage

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