Building Mutually Empowering, Sustainable Relationships, Part Two


In last week’s post, I introduced a powerful methodology for consciously building mutually empowering relationships.  Today’s post continues that discussion and provides more actionable steps for building relationships that are truly mutually empowering.

The challenge:

One of the most salient challenges of modern of modern committed relationships is building a relationship that actually works equally well for both partners.

The Solution:

Interpersonal relationships are very complex.

When it comes to figuring out solutions to our own relationship “struggles”, it can often be very difficult to discern the “forest from the trees”.

What is needed is a simple, practical model that can provide a basic starting point for pretty much anyone, in any situation.

A basic model for all relationships:

One very effective way to conceptualize the complicated dance of interpersonal relationship is to view the relationship as a separate, living entity.

Add to this idea, the idea that all living entities require support and nurturing to live, grow, and, especially- to thrive and you have the basis for a simple model and a place to start.

The diagram below depicts this model:

When the quality of the relationship is the top priority of both people in the relationship, then both parties do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy.

For me, “true love”, means that I will be true to the love in my heart for my beloved wife while fully honoring my own needs, desires, goals and so on.

I call this the Inner Work of Love.

Conscious, mutually empowered, mutually fulfilling relationships are built through open discussion of what’s most important to both partners.

When two people make their love for one another their top priority while authentically acknowledging their own needs, desires, goals, and dreams, and so on, anything is possible!

Some basic steps to take:

  • Become crystal clear on what you want from your relationship
  • Become crystal clear on what you bring to your relationship, strive to cultivate self-love
  • Commit to open communication
  • Commit to always striving to be fully present with your partner

Become crystal clear on what you want from your relationship

I invite you to journal about what you really want from your romantic relationship.

Some common things people tell me that they want from their love life are:

  • companionship,
  • someone who really listens to them,
  • emotional support around work and the daily struggles that life inevitably brings,
  • physical intimacy
  • security
  • true friendship
  • fun
  • children and family

What’s popping up for you?

You may also want to read my recent post on creating a living vision of the relationship you really want and deserve.  Below are two links to posts that will provide you with some more food for thought and some powerful, actionable steps.

Become crystal clear on what you bring to your relationship and strive to cultivate self-love.

In order to create a dynamic, loving, committed relationship you must be completely willing to fully show up as the person you are.

This is why I put so much emphasis on self-acceptance and the piece de resistance- self-love.

There is nothing more attractive than a self-aware, self-confident person that is comfortable with themselves and able to fully show up as the beautiful human being that they.

This is truly the “honey” that attracts the bees.

It is important to always stand in your value as a human being while fully supporting your partner to do the same.

I have attached a link to a post that really speaks to the issue of self-acceptance and self-love.

Commit to open communication

I encourage you to be open, honest, and transparent in all of your communications with your partner, or if you are dating, your potential long-term partner.

I have included some links to previous posts for your perusal.  The first posts focuses on important communication principles:

The second post focuses on the importance of developing the habit of really connecting with others so that you can be more present, focused, and understanding in all of your relationships.

Establishing the habit of positive interpersonal connection will really serve your love life.

Commit to always striving to be fully present with your partner 

Every interaction that we have with another human being provides a precious, never to be repeated opportunity to connect emotionally.

We all want to be included, have a sense of control over our lives, and be liked or at the very least accepted.

At the most basic level, emotional connection forms the basis for how we give and receive the emotional support that all humans need.

Failure to perceive and appropriately respond to another person’s bids for emotional connection can, over time, derail just about any relationship.

I have provided a link to a post that provides a very simple model for understanding how we build emotional connection with others.

It is based largely on the ground-breaking research conducted by Dr. John Gottman and his associates.  It provides what I believe is very timely advice as well as some powerful steps anyone can take to deepen their emotional connection with others.


Mutually empowering committed relationships just don’t happen.

We create them!

Taking the following steps will empower you to build strong relationships that will stand the test of time.

  • Become crystal clear on what you want from your relationship
  • Become crystal clear on what you bring to your relationship, strive to cultivate self-love
  • Commit to open communication
  • Commit to always striving to be fully present with your partner

I sincerely hope that you found this post inspiring and useful.

I encourage you to live fully into the beautiful human being that you are and to take the steps that your heart calls you to take.

Live, Connect, Love and Prosper

See YOU next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

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1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
July 23, 2013 @ 5:57 am

Thank you Ron

The steps are so simple.

Love & Courage
Stephen Light

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