Building Mutually Empowering, Sustainable Relationships, Part One


In last week’s post, Minimizing Stress in Intimate Relationships,

I introduced the idea of consciously designing key aspects of your relationship with your partner.

I referred to the “container” that holds consciously designed relationships as a “Designed Alliance”

So, if you’re dating and trying to establish some ‘ground rules” or already in a committed relationship, this series of posts will provide a powerful, practical model for building sustainable, mutually empowering relationships.

Modern romantic love is quite a dance.

 “Traditional marriage” was intended to create a legally, morally, socially and spiritually binding life-long agreement that, in times past, provided sufficient motivation to keep married folks together.

Today people simply expect more from committed romantic love.

We are encouraged not to settle for less than we deserve and once we “land” the person of our dreams, we tend to simply expect that the relationship will just naturally live up to our hopes and dreams.

Unfortunately, too many committed relationships end in painful, and often traumatic “breakups” that frequently leave one or both partners alone and in the land of “regret and despair”.

Some statistics for your consideration:

Fifty one percent of all first marriages end in divorce

Sixty six percent of all second marriages end in divorce.

Ninety percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

The picture becomes even more troubling when you also take into consideration three other important factors:

  • The statistics cited were gathered from men and women aged 15 to 44 years of age (the age range in which 99.7 % of all births occur) so not all divorces are even represented.
  • The above noted statistics also do not address the rate of separation among couples that simply choose to cohabitate and then split up because no statistical data is gathered regarding this growing group.
  • Here’s the “kicker:

    Many folks choose to stay in what can only be objectively judged to be ‘dysfunctional marriages’ due to financial pressures, children, family pressures to stay together, societal stigmas and issues around divorce, etc.

    When all of these factors are considered, perhaps one in ten marriages are truly happy, ‘functional’, and mutually fulfilling.


So what to do?

Building sustainable, mutually empowering committed relationships requires:

  • A deep mutual commitment to the relationship
  • Persistence – The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
  • A practical, effective strategy that delivers the desired result

Building a designed alliance is one of the best strategies I have found for establishing and nurturing sustainable mutually empowering relationships that fully honor the needs of both partners.

The Designed Alliance

I’ll begin by proposing that one very effective way to conceptualize the complicated dance of interpersonal relationship is to view the relationship as a separate, living entity.

Add to this idea, the idea that all living entities require support and nurturing to live, grow, and, especially- to thrive.

The diagram below depicts this model:

When the quality of the relationship is the top priority of both people in the relationship, then both parties do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy.

For me, “true love”, means that I will be true to the love in my heart for my beloved wife while fully honoring my own needs, desires, goals and so on.

I call this the Inner Work of Love.

Where to start

If you are single and looking for a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are

I invite you to set the intention to really get clear on exactly what you want in a mutually empowering, committed relationship.

I also strongly encourage you to do whatever it takes to cultivate a deeper level of self-acceptance and the piece de resistance- self-love.

If your are dating to explore the potential of a relationship

I invite you to ask the person you are dating to read this post, subscribe to this blog and, most importantly, to begin dialoguing about what you both want from your relationship and to begin consciously designing your alliance.

I also strongly encourage you to do whatever it takes to cultivate a deeper level of self-acceptance and the piece de resistance- self-love.

If you are in a committed relationship that is not quit living up to expectations or you want to breathe new life into a longer-term relationship

I invite you to ask your partner to read this post, subscribe to this blog and to make an appointment with your partner to discuss what you both truly want from your precious relationship.

I have provide links to several past posts that support:

  • Commit to your and your partner’s personal growth and development

In summary:

Conscious, mutually empowered, mutually fulfilling relationships are built through open discussion of what’s most important to both partners.

When two people make their love for one another their top priority while authentically acknowledging their own needs, desires, goals, and dreams, and so on, anything is possible!

A call to action:

What steps has this post inspired you to take with the person you are dating or, if you are in a committed relationship, with your partner?

Be courageous; take the steps your heart calls you to take!

Live, Connect, Love and Prosper

See YOU next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

You will be guided through the steps for setting up your low cost session when you click on the ‘Sign Up Now’ button below:

Sign Up Now

1 Comment »

Comment by stephen light
July 18, 2013 @ 9:55 am

Shared thanks Ron

Love the alliance

Love & Courage
Stephen Light

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Comment

Comment Rules: I'd love to have your comments. I welcome criticism, ideas, and thoughts. Please do not be rude (will be deleted). Please do not put your URL in the comment text. Please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Thanks for sharing your comments!


If you’d like a picture to show up by your name, get a Gravatar.