Are Fear and Indecision Stopping YOU from Attracting True Love?

WELCOME!

In reflecting on my own rather circuitous path to the Love of my life, I realized that when it came to dating, I lived with a lot of fear.

I took the whole relationship thing so seriously.

You see, I really wanted that special someone in my life- that friend of all friends- to go through life with.

Before a date, my nervous energy always led me to meticulously prepare.

  • My ride had to be properly washed and detailed.
  • My clothes had to be just so.
  • My apartment had to be ‘presentable’.
  • The arrangements all had to be in order and checked twice.

This list goes on and on.

The time after the date was even worse.

  • Should I call her and thank her?
  • Should I wait a few days?
  • Should I send her flowers?
  • What if I miss-read her and she really ….

This list is even longer and more fraught with fear and nervous energy than getting ready for the date!

Any of this sound familiar?

Curious about how I overcame my relationship fears and ended up with a wonderful woman who loves me for who I really am?

Click to discover my secrets for managing my fears.

My first experiences with public speaking taught me some valuable lessons about dealing with uncomfortable feelings around new social situations.

I remember the first time I was asked to provide a staff development training.

I was so nervous before the training that even my Boss told me to relax.

At the appointed hour I watched the conference room fill up and gave my 45 minute presentation.

I was well prepared and once I got going, the speaking thing got easier and easier.  In fact it went so well, that I was asked to prepare another training on effective communication.

Then I was asked to become a member of the ‘Staff Development Team’.

My public speaking career had been launched, despite my best efforts to avoid it!

Go figure.

So what does this have to do with attracting the Love of YOUR life?

The answer:

Once we get into action,  fear is replaced with inspiration.

Once I got started speaking, connecting with the audience, and dealing with their questions I was no longer so self-conscious.  I was simply too busy doing to be concerned with failing!

When it comes to the modern world and social situations fear usually means that we are about to step into ‘new territory’ and is therefore a signal that an opportunity to grow and become more of who we truly are is just ahead.

The following are some steps to help you transform fear-based indecision into inspiring action.

One: Learn to see fear as an ally

Everyone experiences fear.  It simply does not matter how confident we are in one area of our lives, new social situations elicit a certain amount of fear.

The idea is not to deny your fear but to transform your perspective into one that allows you to take the step and get into ‘uncomfortable, imperfect action’.  Once you start, you’ll be fine.

You can’t succeed unless you’re willing to try. Get into imperfect action!

The door to success is right in front of you, all you have to do is open it!

Your efforts will transform that fearful indecision into inspired action.

Really!

Two: Set aside a short time, say 5 minutes to be with your fear.

What?  You got it.  Write about what you are afraid of.  This will help you to objectify your fears.  Put another way, it helps you to see that your fears around a certain situation are based on potential outcomes and not the event itself.  This ties in nicely with my next point

Three: Let go of the outcome

Non-attachment to the results of our actions is one of the keys to being able to play an inspired game on unfamiliar turf.

This is the teaching of the mystics of the various religious traditions from around the world.  It has been a consistent theme ever since the idea of self-mastery came into existence.  Modern positive psychology also supports this notion.

Four: Become and stay curious

Curiosity may have killed the cat but it almost always helps bring a fresh, inspiring perspective to us humans who are constantly challenged by life circumstances to become more of who we really are.

Five: Understand that full effort is full victory

Hey, you may not always hit the ball, but you’ve got to swing to get on base.  Give yourself the opportunity to succeed!

When your efforts lead to outcomes than are ‘disappointing’, make an appointment with yourself to try again.

The only thing that will prevent you from succeeding is quitting.

Give YOUR ‘Mr. Right” the opportunity to make you both winners in the game of love.

Go get ‘em!

See you next week!

Start now with a low cost ‘Committed Partner Breakthrough‘ session

During your low cost “Committed Partner Breakthrough Session” we will:

  • Create a sense of clarity about the relationship you really want to have.
  • Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship of your dreams.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the relationship of your dreams.
  • Complete our session with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to attract a committed partner who truly loves you for who you are!

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1 Comment »

Comment by Stephen Light
February 21, 2012 @ 10:13 am

Great article Ron

I use courage to deal with my fears. I use my courage to face the fears head on. I do love the Sit with the Fear bit – scary and exciting.

Love & Courage
Stephen


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